Monday, June 6, 2011

Dear God, How is this for honesty

Dear God, it is sort of, okay not sort of, it is just plain amazing how You work. I had opened this new blog with plans of telling You how I felt You had left me. How You had abandoned me here all alone to suffer. In fact I had already started the blog entry, I am keeping the original title cause in so many ways I feel like it still fits. I am still scared that is for sure, how can I not be a little scared. I know that because of tonight satan will be waiting to strike at any moment. But the doubt that filled my head just two hours ago has now been replaced with a fresh faith in you. The fear that You had left me here to rot has now been replaced with the comfort of Your love surrounding me as I type this down. A friend told me to read Romans 8 over and over again and pray to You while I read it. When I got to the part about how Your spirit intercedes for us when we do not have the words to say I just started weeping. I could not even get any of the words I wanted to say out of my mouth. But I knew that verse was being acting out in my life at that very moment. I know Your spirit was interceding for me on this night when I could not get the words out. There were so many other words in Romans 8 that hit me hard, I know You were speaking right to me tonight and I know that You used Renee tonight to speak into my life and get my attention. I love you so much for doing that, I was in a rut and heading down a road that would lead me to so much pain. You used one of Your children and my friend to truly make me see that I need to get back to You. How is this for honesty?

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